


let us find home in the shadows

by Tobi_Black



Series: Let Us 'verse [49]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rise of Empire Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Aayla/Bly Feelings, Alternate Universe - Clone Rebellion, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Implied Mutual Unrequited Love, Knight-Apparent Asajj Ventress, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), NaNoWriMo 2020, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27539029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobi_Black/pseuds/Tobi_Black
Summary: Aayla came to Yavin IV, to a homecoming.
Relationships: Aayla Secura & Quinlan Vos, Asajj Ventress & Quinlan Vos, Bant Eerin & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Garen Muln & Reeft & Quinlan Vos, CC-5052 | Bly & Aayla Secura, CC-5052 | Bly & Ahsoka Tano, CC-5052 | Bly & Quinlan Vos
Series: Let Us 'verse [49]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1076118
Comments: 6
Kudos: 137





	let us find home in the shadows

**4 BBY**

Bly was restless, anxious, the closer it got to when the Twi’lek ‘Bly’ – to when _General Secura_ , to when _his jetii_ – was supposed to arrive on Yavin with whoever she was sent to retrieve. He’d cleaned and re-cleaned his gun, then calibrated and calibrated them _again_ , then went and helped with the rebels’ maintenance to do more of the same after he’d been told to take his anxiety elsewhere by Ventress.

General Vos was _trying_ to meditate, to center himself in the Force, but apparently, his anxiety was compounding the General’s anxiety and Ventress ‘could feel it across the base’, so she’d sat down with him and kicked _him_ out of the room.

Bly didn’t quite know the how or why or when, but at some point, the two of them had started circling each other like his _vode_ had when looking for a new sparring partner. It had originally been out of a limited amount of space – and Ventress refusing to put up with General Vos ‘slipping into the shadows’ – but she’d started to sit with him and clean her lightsabers while he meditated. Commander Tano – she’d refused the address of General, said it would just confuse the rebels, and that her rank would be equivalent of what his had been anyway – had come in as he left, then just smiled and dodged the vibra-blade Ventress had thrown her way with the hissed threat of ‘don’t even _think_ it!’.

He’d asked her what Ventress had meant, because he didn’t think ‘sparring partner’ was quite what Ventress and General Vos were settling into. Her grin had been toothy as she’d explained that like herself, Ventress had never finished her _jetii_ training – and he’d gotten distracted trying to picture her as a General on their side during the Wars but he couldn’t; the closest he got was that she would have been a lot like General Vos, who’d spent most of the war without any _vode_ with him.

Apparently, and according to Commander Tano, General Vos was treating Ventress a bit like ‘a Jedi Master making himself available to a Knight-Apparent whose Master was no longer with them’, and Ventress was reciprocating it in her own way. They weren’t a true Padawan-Commander and General pair, but something like Alpha-17 had been for him, to properly make him into a Commander not likely to die in five minutes or have his _vode_ die in ten minutes.

The idea of Ventress as a _jetii_ threw him.

Even if she’d defected before the end of the Wars, and apparently had once been the Padawan-Commander of a _jetii_ who’d died before the Wars, he couldn’t picture it. Yet, the lightsaber that she had been handling wasn’t the red she’s carried during the war, but _green_ , and with the exception of Grievous, green and blue were the color of _jetii’kad_.

She still had the red lightsabers, and practiced with them, but she also had a third, that she didn’t use but rigorously maintained anyway.

Trying to work through the idea of Ventress as an ally, not just for a common enemy, kept him distracted from his anxiety over meeting General Secura again.

Up until Commander Tano told him that ‘Bly’ had arrived on Yavin.

~

Quinlan had been so _happy_ to find out that his former padawan had possibly _survived_ what he’d believed to be her death. He’d reached out, and she’d given an _answer_ , just the hint of a _presence_ on the other side of their bond that was _undeniable._

They’d kept the bond even after she’d been knighted, because she’d been his partner on his missions still, before they’d both buried it to preserve it when he’d gone undercover. It had been one of the only reasons why he’d come back after Falling, because instead of saving herself, she’d _pulled_ him back into the Light. That trial had strengthened it, gave it a core of beskar steel, but the war had taken them to opposite sides of the galaxy even after he’d joined the GAR. He’d been far away from Felucia, and her presence on the other side of their bond had been faint, and amongst all the loss of those first six months, he’d believed it was only wishful thinking that he’d still sensed her.

He’d thought she had just refused to disperse into the Force upon her death, to wait for him to join her. He’d challenged Vader again and _again – angry_ at Anakin for Falling and not even _trying_ to find his way back – while half-expecting to die each time, half-hoping that if he could come _close_ to becoming one with the Force, he’d _know_ if it was all in his head that he could still _feel_ her on the other side of their bond.

Then she’d come closer and closer, her presence growing _stronger_ on her end of their bond, and he’d smiled, radiating so much _happiness_ into the Force that Ventress next to him made a disgusted noise, “Ugh, keep your sappy emotions on your side of the room, Vos.”

Despite her words – despite the sneer on her face – she didn’t leave, didn’t even lift her head from where she was cleaning her Master’s old ‘saber again. He’d noticed that it was something of a calming ritual for her, almost meditative, and once she started, she wouldn’t stop until she was done for nothing short of an attack. Still, she would move away if she was _really_ bothered; she had before.

He was too happy to be even slightly bothered, “I’m too happy for it to be contained. My former padawan _survived_ where I thought she’d died, even as I hoped she’d lived but feared it was all in my head. She will be here soon.”

 _That_ got a look at him, and there was the shadow of something in her tightly-controlled presence, something that he thought might be _anxiety_ but it was there and gone before he was sure, and it definitely didn’t show on her face.

“Good for _you_ then.” There was just the hint of _bite_ in her words as she went back to the ‘saber she’d almost completely re-assembled, finished it, then stood, “Try to not be disappointed when things are different than your expectations afterwards.”

He frowned at her back, having the _sense_ there was more to what she was saying, but not quite sure what. Ventress was a hard read on good days, and he’d gotten better due to their close contact aboard the _Ghost_ , but there _was_ a reason why she’d survived for so long despite the hunt for any and all Force Sensitives by Inquisitors. Her presence was shrouded; a dark mist that was hard to get a grasp upon, and even harder to get impressions off.

The Force whispered to him that he should press this, find out what Ventress _meant_ , and he intended to, but that very moment, Aayla spoke to him across the bond, her mental voice faint, _< <It is good to feel your presence again, Quinlan.>>_

There was a rush of feelings from her end, too many of them to get a grasp on them all, but chief among them was _happiness_ , _relief_ , and _grief_.

_< <As it is you, Aayla. I’m glad to know you are alive. I’ve thought you dead for so long.>>_

There was a laugh, a little bitter and a little spiteful, from her, _< <Obi-Wan is the undeniable master, but anyone who spent extended time around him seemed to have inherited that man’s death-defying ability to survive despite the odds and circumstances. I don’t know how else I survived getting off Felucia. I don’t know else _you _survived crossing ‘sabers with the Emperor’s executioner so many times. >> _There was an undeniable emphasis on the _you_ regarding his repeated run-ins with Vader, which was deserved.

Quinlan mentally winced, then prodded at the other presence he could feel beside her, one that he had thought he’d been mistaken about until they’d come closer, _< <It seems you inherited Obi-Wan’s ability to defy death as well, Garen. It’s good to know you survived too.>>_

He’d lost contact with Garen during the war, and he’d hoped that he’d survived because he’d kept away from the front lines, flying aid and rescue and so he’d been relatively unknown to the clones.

Garen prodded their bond awake from where it’d fallen dormant, near-dead, _< <You made sure the whole galaxy knew you’d survived, picking fights with Vader like you were, but you’ve been a ghost whenever not actively engaged. It is good to hear from you again, truly.>>_

Unlike him, who’d _had_ a company of troopers but they had _not_ gotten along, mostly in part because he was _used_ to going it alone – or with just Aayla – so he’d ditched them on the regular, and because he’d had next to no experience leading and no interest in learning, he’d had little involvement with them when he was with them. He’d actually managed to get them reassigned a few months before the end of the Wars, which had been the reason why _he’d_ evaded the clones during those first six months they’d been hunting the Jedi down in truth.

There was the feeling of a wry smile, _< <So few of us survived. We are the last of our clan, the last of our friend group, just the three of us. Reeft was never really suited to be a Knight, but the Republic called so he answered and died for it. Bant answered too, and she was better suited, but she died too.>>_

There was a moment of silence as they grieved again for their friends that had died, whose bodies they’d seen put upon the pyre alongside dozens of others.

The last fifteen years, he’d poked his head on planets where the Jedi had had a _presence_ , looking for those that he’d once known but not been close to. Most of those places had been quickly abandoned as Jedi who’d had friends and crèche-mates felt their deaths. _Some_ of them had stuck around, most notably those from the Agricorps.

 _They_ might have been Master Tii or Jinn-level strength with the Living Force, they’d been _more_ than strong enough to turn their homes into organic fortresses hidden behind the nature they’d turned all their attention to making the land and its animals inhospitable to anyone not their own. The Empire had never learned they were there, or the Agricorps members had made it _hurt_ while they’d scattered unknown into the wind.

He’d seen the remains of one such place, and he’d done what he could to sent the whole area aflame to burn their bodies before the Empire could do anything with them.

_< < I’m not sure if I could take too many more losses; I lost a lot of friends to the Empire’s rise, ones I’d flown with for over a decade that I’d thought I’d fly with for decades more.>>_

Garen’s group, they would have been ready to go into the black at a moment’s notice, having had ships and supplies for rescue or aid missions. Some of them had still been exploring the Unknown Regions during the Wars, chasing leads for old bases from the Jedi-Sith wars millennia ago that could have been repurposed.

No one had talked about it openly, but there had been the feeling among some of them that remembered when they’d been less at the beck-and-call of the Senate, that they were too close. There hadn’t been _plans_ to _abandon_ the Temple on Coruscant, but there had been _rumors_ that they would no longer have it as the main Temple once the Wars were over.

Aayla’s voice was quiet, seething _anger_ beneath the grief, _< <They died for nothing. They all died for nothing. Every single one of them since the wars began, all of my men, and all of my friends.>>_

He _understood_ her anger, shared it, but he’d failed her once by Falling, he wouldn’t let her go down that path herself if he could, _< <They died defending people who would have died otherwise. They won the Wars against the Confederation, even if the Empire was ushered in its wake.>>_

Aayla’s grief was loud, but there was also quiet pride, _< <They are scouting ahead for us to join them later, trusting us to finish what they started. Bly told me that once.>>_

Quinlan noticed that she didn’t seem to have any animosity to the clones, despite their attempt – and near-success – in killing her, and he wondered at that. He couldn’t have done that himself, but he’d also had no _attachment_ to any of them, unlike Aayla who’d once told him that she hoped she could continue to work with the 127th after the Wars were over. She hadn’t said it, but he’d thought then that she might have been willing to leave the Jedi for her attachment. If it had made her happy, he would have let her go.

And considering Bly’s behavior, he thought that the clone would have followed her to the ends of the galaxy if she but led, so he thought the attachment was returned, and she would have been in good hands.

_< <Your men are not all dead, Aayla.>>_

Her cautious hope bloomed bright, even if she couldn’t bring herself to ask _who_ had survived.

_< <Bly is here, at least. You’d have to ask him who else survived.>>_

Her pure happiness, without more than a shadow of guilt and grief rapidly fading, gave him _hope_ for the two to get the ending they hadn’t dared to think they’d have once the Wars were over.

~

Aayla didn’t remember much of their passing through the rebels’ checkpoints to the hidden base on the moon, or even de-boarding in the hanger bay, all of her attention was on two presences in the Force she’d once thought she’d only feel again once she died. She’d grieved for them both, never quite stopped if she was honest with herself.

Quinlan had been a part of her life for so long, for so much of it, that even as the Empire hunted the Jedi down, she’d never quite believe they’d kill _him_. He’d always be there for her, but she had no way of finding him. She’d cut herself off as much as she could from the Force to hide on Ryloth, their bond quiet and strained to near-breaking, so she couldn’t reach out to him, or find him that way, and he was a _master_ of hiding in plain sight, of stealth and disguise, considering how many times he’d gone undercover just in her life, plus a decade more, she'd only ever stumble across him otherwise.

It had never quite occurred to her that _he_ thought she was dead. She could feel him, faintly, through their unbroken bond, so she’d thought _he_ could feel her too, but she’d forgotten his story of how a bond broken by death felt. Not until she’d experienced the same from her dying crèche-mates, and _felt_ those jagged edges reaching out into nothing, and the desperate hope from the echo of her own pleading into the Force.

His unabashed _happiness_ to find that she was _alive_ had soothed wounds she hadn’t even realized she’d had.

It was hearing that Bly was alive though, that undid her, left her adrift as she focused solely on them. It’d been fifteen years and even if she _knew_ there were clones alive, had _seen_ when one she hadn’t known looked at her and burst out in tears and sobbed apologies, she’d also heard of the ones that had killed themselves instead of live with the guilt of shooting and killing their Jedi.

She hadn’t asked the details of _why_ they had then, too focused on the detail of _kill themselves instead of live with the guilt_ when Bly had shot at her, must have thought he’d _killed_ her. She’d had no doubts that he would have been one of those that would have rather marched away than live with the guilt hanging around his neck like a noose pulled tight, and so she’d _grieved_. She’d grieved and never _stopped_ grieving, letting it become a part of her as it never quite faded away.

Moments from when they’d known each would creep in when it was quiet, small reminders of what she had almost had, could have had, and never would have again with Bly.

She’d thrown herself into the rebellion on Ryloth in response, doing everything she could there in lieu of being able to do nothing for her men. She didn’t know _what_ she could have done for them, even if she’d left Ryloth, when she didn’t feel like she _deserved_ to be able to do anything for them for failing to spot whatever had turned them against the Jedi.

The moment she stepped off her ship, Garen stepping off his nearby, she spotted them.

Quinlan and Bly.

Immediately, her vision got fuzzy, and then she was running to meet them, Quinlan meeting her halfway before she was dragging him with her to Bly, “ _Ni ceta, ner jetii—!_ ”

Then they were all crying, her arms wrapped around both as they clung to her, the Force blanketing them with _happy,_ _relief_ , fading _grief_ , _guilt_ , and the sense of _rightness_.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of waiting for the Wolffe & Plo Koon reunion - it's roughly 95-98% done. It'll probably be up in the next week once I figure out what I want to end it on, exactly.


End file.
